Most of the blogs I write will be about the kids but now and again I will write a piece about other aspects of my life.
One particular aspect is that my Husband has epilepsy and at the moment it is not going so well. When Rob and I got married, I didn’t really have any idea of what I was in for; I had seen him have seizures before but there was more to the condition than that. The epilepsy that affects my husband puts him in the top extreme cases in New Zealand. In the first 3 months of marriage I was pretty much thrown in the deep end and had to swim or sink. Eventually the epilepsy was a bit more under control.
However in the last few months things have progressed badly to the point where even his specialist is concerned; at the moment my husband sleeps a lot because of the amount of drugs he takes. Which has left me in charge of keeping the house clean (fail), trying to get the kids dressed, fed and bathed every day.
With all this on my shoulders it doesn’t leave much time for me; until things get better I have to put myself to the wayside – thankfully I have friends and family that have been a real help and I am so grateful for.
Epilepsy is very rarely something to take lightly, sometimes there are cases which are controlled; on the other hand sometimes – like in my husbands case they are doing there best just to survive. Just because you may not see them have a seizure or in many cases they look like any other “normal” person does not mean that snap judgments can be made about their life.
I love my husband very much, our kids love their dad – but I hate what epilepsy does to my husband and that at the moment with how serious it is, I hate what it is doing to us.
I’m not normally one to put my bad stuff out there as I’m not interested in pity parties, but some days it feels like a constant fight to just get through the day; some of the things that make me smile are the hugs and smiles from the kids – or when the boys are actually getting along.