Learning to say “No”

I’m going to talk about the word “No”

My youngest boy seems to have no difficulty using this word and it made me think about how it’s a word that I’ve had to learn to use.  It used to be when people asked me for help I couldn’t say “no”. I think part of the reason was that I didn’t want to be a disappointment but the other reason is because I do love to help people.

Before my kids came along I had fallen into the trap of not being able to say “no”

I was always able to say “no” when it came to matters of morality and integrity but when it came to friends or family asking for my help, saying “no” was not something I could do.

However once I had my kids I had to think about what was best for them and could not neglect them in helping someone. Saying “no” became easier when I became a mum. I was kind of ‘forced’ to learn to say “no” then. Now, I don’t say “yes” if I’m not positive that I can follow through, I’ll admit though that there have been times when it’s been a battle.

My husband is a very black and white person. He says things straight up even if sometimes it isn’t a good thing. There are some days when I wish I could be like that, however it would be going against my very character. I can’t completely change who I am but I can learn better social skills. I can learn that I don’t need to please everyone all the time. I can learn to try and look after myself as well.

Even with kids its okay to say “no” sometimes, I’m not talking about when they do something they shouldn’t, I’m talking about when they ask to be taken here or there, or when they want this or that.

Learning to say “No” I think is very important for a person’s emotional, mental and physical well-being. When we say “yes” all the time with little regard for ourselves we will eventually burn out and not be good for anyone.


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