Words Matter – Let Positivity Reign

Words Matter – Let Positivity Reign

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Compliments have always been difficult for me to accept especially in my teen years when my self-esteem was very low. If someone complimented me I would shrug it off or actually disagree with the compliment. It got to a point that I would get compliments that seemed to come from a person with an ulterior motive that I myself would seldom compliment others for fear they would think it came with an ulterior motive.

Even today accepting compliments is still a working progress in my life; not just accepting compliments but also gratitude from complimenting someone. I can be my own worst enemy and second-guess myself by worrying about what someone else’s opinion of me. I don’t know if the second-guessing comes from low self-esteem, anxiety or a mixture of both.

Some of my late night musings have been along the lines of maybe if you don’t accept a compliment or you try to downplay it, you possibly could hurt the other person’s feelings and make them feel like you’re ungrateful and you actually make them feel bad. When you accept a compliment in a gracious manner you are allowing positivity to spread and encourage compliments to be given – not just to you but to others as well. Complimenting someone without an ulterior motive should be readily given and received. If no-one gave compliments then that would allow negativity to run rampant.

Compliments should come without strings or expectations; I suppose that unfortunately there are people out there that compliment with ulterior motives but I would hope that it’s not the norm and that the majority of people give honest and true compliments. What would the world come to if we always put ourselves first and that there were strings attached to every word and deed?

A compliment has the power to lift someone up when they feel down, compliments can be a way of letting someone know that they matter, that what they do is noticed and appreciated.

Actions do sometimes speak louder than words; yet even better are when both are in correlation with each other without an ulterior motive being present, maybe complimenting someone brings a blessing to the giver but that shouldn’t be the reason the compliment is given in the first place and that blessing should just be the cherry on top.

Selfless words and deeds need to abound in everyday life and allow them to be an example to future generations, to counteract the rise of bullying we need to fill the “buckets” of those around us with positive words and actions.

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Monkey See, Monkey Do

Monkey See, Monkey Do

It seems that in the News and on Social Media lately there is a lot of talk around bullying and how big a problem it is, especially with social media being a major bullying outlet. This has made me think even more about as parents what sort of example we are setting for our children.

I’m sure that no-one wants their child to be bullied or even more so to be a bully. Children are like monkeys and often its a case of children doing what we do not what we say – Monkey See, Monkey Do.

When we talk about the way other mum’s parent is it with respect even if we disagree or is it in judgement because they don’t parent how WE think they should. In an earlier blog  I wrote stopping these mum wars – this is a good idea not just because as mums we should be supporting each other but because we won’t to set a good example for how our children should treat others even when disagreements arise.

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If we put down another mum because they don’t cut their grapes for their kids like we do. Maybe it’s showing our kids that when someone does something different to us then that person is in the wrong.

I remember being told “Sticks and stones will break your bones, but names will never hurt you” this is complete and utter crock. I have found that bones do eventually heal however hurtful words can stick around for a long time and can have a major impact on a person’s self-esteem. I still remember having hurtful things said to me when I was younger and this is one of the reasons I struggle with self-esteem issues.

Childhood bullying actually has a long-lasting effect and according to some statistics is a reason why youth suicide is so high. Social media plays such a major role in the world today that bullying has taken on a new face and sometimes is unrecognisable.

I believe that as parents we should respect other parents and not insist that they shouldn’t do something because that’s not our way.

Mum shaming is bullying through and through. Unless a child is OBVIOUSLY being neglected or abused then we need to keep our opinions to ourselves, making suggestions is good as long as we don’t insist that our way is the ONLY way to do things.

Hope