Kids and their friends

In this day and age there are so many playgroups, music groups that we can get our kids involved in. We try to socialise our kids from a very young age which can be a good thing as long as there are no rigid expectations. We love our kids to make friends and sometimes as parents we try to choose those friends for them; even from a young age kids will decide who their friends are.

Who kids decide to befriend is determined on a kid by kid basis; for example when my eldest boy was at Kindy he played with pretty much the same 3 boys, he was friendly with others but those three were his Kindy besties and they all had a similar look, he also didn’t regard any girls as his friends. My youngest boy however has chosen friends both boys and girls and he will be happy to play with kids older than him.

I have a friend who’s daughter is about a week older than my girl and she also has 2 big brothers. We’ve been trying to get these 2 to be best friends but I’m not sure how well it will work out; the first coffee/playdate resulted in my girl crying whenever the other little girl made a cry sound, it was happening so often that it actually became a bit funny.

Before the age of 3 my youngest boy appeared to not care much about friendships and was quite happy to play by himself – he still is but he also likes to talk about his friends and not that he has close friends I’ve not heard a peep about his imaginary friend.

When my eldest boy started school the best thing about it he said was that one of his Kindy besties was in the same class. I actually stopped asking him who he played with as it was always the same answer, yet with my youngest it is sometimes the same answer but sometimes it is different.

I think its good for kids to socialise but in the end who they are friends with is up to them. When my kids reach their tweens/teens my opinion about that might change. However If we give them a strong and positive foundation to start off then hopefully they will make good choices about friends in those years.



Best Friends or Bitter Rivals

After our eldest son was born, I knew I didn’t want to stop there; I’m a strong believer that children need playmates. Only children may work for some people but I didn’t want that to be the case for my boy. I also realise that it may not be possible for parents to have more than one. I felt that my son would be better off with a sibling. So almost 2 years later along came his little brother.

I enjoy (most of the time) the relationship the brothers have. Our eldest boy has a big heart and loves to help his little brother, his little brother seems to want to do what his big brother does – but he also seems to enjoy “tormenting” his big brother. At the moment the brothers share a bedroom and sometimes it seems to flow smoothly, other times its like World War 3.

My eldest boy likes to have time by himself sometimes but it can be a fight to get that across to his little brother, sometimes my big boy tries to dictate how the brothers play and because of his little brother’s strong sense of independence it can turn a little bit rough. If the eldest insists to much on how their play should progress and pays no attention to what his little brother wants, then instead of words physicality ensues to get the eldest to listen to the youngest.

I’m not sure if this physicality is because they are boys or if its an age thing. What is interesting though is that the physicality could seem quite bad but once its over they are best friends again almost as if it never happened.

In having sons I’ve learnt that sometimes I have to step back and only interfere if things are getting completely out of hand – after all I don’t want them to kill each other 🙂

Within a day my sons can go from being best friends to bitter rivals then back to best friends many times. The one thing I hope is that they always have each others back and no matter where life takes them they will always know they have each other.