Children are children – Let It Go

Children are children – Let It Go

My eldest boy had an anti-bullying awareness day at his school and was asked to wear either a pink OR loud shirt, I ended up buying him a bright orange shirt as there was little chance he would wear pink.

I have tried to explain to my boys that there are no “boy” or “girl” colours – they are just colours; however Jason has a very set idea on what is ok for him to wear, he won’t even wear the dark purple jeans he has. He said that the other kids would laugh if he wore them.

In my opinion we should let our kids wear what they want without parental judgment, especially towards boys. There seems to still be a bit of double standards going on when it comes to what our children wear, their favourite colour or how they play.

It seems to be more acceptable for girls to play with trucks, cars and so on yet not so acceptable if our boys want to play with dolls or pretend to be a disney princess. Its like when our girls play with car, trucks and the sort they are being toughened, however if our boys play with what is deemed “girls toys” then they are sometimes labelled “sissies”.

Children are just children and why should we put on them expectations that they don’t understand. In doing a bit of surfing on the net I found that pink didn’t become a “girls colour until after the 1920’s, before that it was more popular as a “boys colour”.

I remember as a child one of my favourite toys was a yellow dump truck whereas my little sister preferred to play with dolls – I didn’t mind playing dolls with her as to me it was more about just playing with my sister.

I can’t remember the last time Jason played with a doll, mind you he loves to carry his baby sister around. He’s very sensitive and very empathetic, he’s not a boy that likes to try new things straight off the bat and is cautious. My youngest son who’s 4 doesn’t mind what he wears and is a boy who will give anything a go, seems to have no fear and has no problem playing with dolls or dressing up.

What a child likes has more to do with their personality than their gender, as adults I believe that we should let them keep their innocence as long as possible we should try our best not to allow our own preferences to affect their choices. If a boy wants to dress like “Elsa” then let them and try not to analyse their reasoning – after all children are children they don’t reason like we do, they just want to have fun.

 

“He’s a Mummy’s Boy” – not a bad thing

“He’s a Mummy’s Boy” – not a bad thing

Jason and Mummy

Jason has been called a “Mummy’s boy” by various people and because of the stigma attached to it its come across as a negative thing – but you know what – he comes across that way because he has a big heart so is sensitive when it comes to feelings. He’s not the type of boy who is adventurous. He’s very caring towards those younger than him especially his little cousin, his sister and even his friends sisters.

Here in New Zealand it seems that boys are only meant to be the rough and tumble adventurous type, he does like rough play but only to a certain degree. He also is a great reader and sometimes prefers to just sit and read. He likes to play sport but isn’t a fan of heights or is very cautious about trying new things.

Some people think that he’s “soft” because when he was little out of necessity we co-slept. Honestly though it was what he needed at the time. Jason isn’t 6 for a few more months but he can ride a two-wheeler by himself, he has had sleepovers at a friends place and was quite happy about it and didn’t want to come home.

I think what makes it harder on him is that his little brother is very adventurous and throws caution out the window; Alex never needed to co-sleep and just goes with the flow when it comes to change, he’s willing to try anything. However he doesn’t have the empathy that Jason has – and that’s okay as well. I’ve never had to worry too much about Alex but he does do my head in a bit as he is very determined and teaching him to apologise has been a huge task.

Jason loves cuddles and if I had to say what his love language was I would say its probably physical touch and quality time. Jason seems to prefer small but close friendship circles, he’s a friendly boy but when he was at kindy he pretty much just played with the same few boys whereas Alex’s friendships are more vast.

Some might say that Alex isn’t as emphatic as Jason because he’s younger but I disagree. The brothers just have different personalities and thats a good thing. If this world was made up of people that were exactly the same it would be pretty boring.

Just because someone may not fit the label we give them doesn’t give us a right to make assumptions. Yes Jason may be a “mummy’s boy” because of his empathy, his sensitivity and his closeness to me – he’s also a lot like his dad in his sense of humor and love of sports. Its fine if boys are sensitive it’ll mean they’ll grow up to be great Dads.

Jason and Rylee